Most people, even some sayings suggest that dying trying is a good thing. But that supports most people who stop at tying and never get to doing. They have the sizzle of the steak, but never deliver the steak itself.

This is the continuation of yesterday’s article.
‘Not real, not real.’ What happens when you can say that?
I may not live much longer, but while I am alive, I’ll do the work necessary.

I slept a total of two hours last night. Then I woke up with a start… could not go back to sleep… And the experience of I am suffocating every time I put my head down is not ever going to allow me to sleep again.

So I got up, and researched chronic pulmonary obstruction disease… My symptoms are most similar to that…

Then I went back to bed and practiced for an hour to say: ‘not real, not real’ every time the panic came up. The not real tells me relax the muscles that block the air flow. I did that 80 times in that hour.

This is not dissimilar to the Amish Horse Training Method, where what needs to be let go of is a thought, but it isn’t the thought that keeps you miserable, it’s the meaning.
So the meaning is what is not real.
‘I am suffocating’… is not real. I noticed that there was, each time, an image or a mini-movie that triggered it. It was easier to see because I had my eyes closed……

Eighty repetitions got me to being consciously incompetent. The goal is to get myself to unconscious competence. Muscletest says another 300 successful repetitions can take me there. In the meantime my vibration has dropped, my IQ has dropped, and there is no guarantee that I’ll be able to sleep through the night even after I get competent.

But without integrity nothing works, not you, not your life. And worse than that: you can’t love yourself. And without integrity your word has no power.

When you say: ‘not real’, you are creating with your word… and if your word has no power, then you won’t obey it. In my case, in suffocating: if I didn’t HONOR my word, I would jump up and try to stay alive… Instead, when I say not real, not real… I already relax the muscles that obstruct my airways. And when I really-really didn’t react, my eyes even stayed closed… About half of the 80 instances.
Why is this called The Amish Horse Training Method?
The Amish ties the young horse to a fence post on the side of the highway for days, about 7 days. Every vehicle passing triggers the horse until it gets it, if it gets it, that all that noise is not personal, and that he, the horse, can let go of reacting to every noise.

Only humans are so arrogant to believe that just knowing what there is to do is enough…

So I have had not one student who has achieved mastery at the Amish Horse Training Method, even though I have no students who wouldn’t need it. Because just like an untrained horse reacts to everything, you do too… And it is as dangerous as in the case of the horse: you pull your whole life in the way of the eighteen
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