Author: Sophie

Without the Big Bundle I would be…

Some 10 days ago I ate some food from my suddenly broken refrigerator.

I was on a coaching call, so I was distracted. Turns out the meat was tainted and I fell ill.

Not your usual bacterial type of food poisoning where you get diarrhea and maybe vomit… no, this one was from dead bacteria… And it promptly proceeded to destroy my intestines.

Have you ever seen roaster red peppers? The charred skin over the succulent flesh of the pepper?

Imagine this happening in your intestines… and unless you can remove the charred skin, unless you can keep the “flesh” from being eaten alive, you are going to die.

Of course no sane medical doctor would know what to do with that, or even that this is what was happening, without cutting you open, and killing you by exposing that virgin “flesh” to pathogens.
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Being judged

We are judged all the time. Justly, unjustly, the feeling of being judged is familiar to all of us… and some of us is bothered and paralyzed by it more than others.

What’s painful in being judged is that the judgment contains a kernel of truth (or more) and the other part is the judging themselves: in judging they place themselves above us… simply unbearable to the sensitive Precious “I”.

This story is about my very recent “bout” with being judged… and shows what is on the other side of judgment… how to free yourself from it so it doesn’t sting quite that much… maybe not even at all.

OK, here we go:

If you’ve known me for a while, you know that I don’t do housework, or really shamefully little.
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More on the 10 dark years theory… or why it takes so long to succeed

Most winners in life master one thing in particular: they are astute. Astute: having or showing an ability to accurately assess situations or people.

Accurately assess… as opposed to have an opinion, have a good feel, or guess…

Is that a skill, a capacity, a virtue? What is it and how do you get it?

A have a new “most visited” post, the 31 quotes that give you chills… Why? Because it promises an experience… an experience you crave in the consistently dull and painful life you have.

Wanting to get chills without any other benefits says a lot about you and your life. What does it say? For one: you are a mystery to yourself…

I have said it before… humanity bars its way to evolution by throwing big words around.
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Why are you not able to sustain a new mindset? Sustain Change? Sustain Evolution? Sustain Growth?

Update: if you think you don’t retain or sustain a new mindset, chances are, you never internalized it, so there is nothing to retain or sustain. Same with transformation.

Before we can talk about retaining: first you have to have it… you cannot lose what you never had. Thinking you had it is not the same as having it.

Thinking about flying isn’t… So beware, if you come back to this post over and over again, you are probably delusional… So snap out of it. Have something so you can lose it… Learn how to attain, and then if you lose it, then this article is for you…

Yesterday I spent 90 minutes with my coaching client.

This is what I learned:

You are not retaining any of the insights, any of the knowledge you read. And because my site, my programs need you to retain what you were taught, my programs, with you, are wholly ineffective.

I already saw this when I was in Landmark programs: I saw that even seminar leaders don’t retain the knowledge, the coaching, they get.
Change is not enough. We must evolve… evolution is irreversible
Every new seminar they start from zero, or near zero.

I retain everything. But what is the difference between them and me, you and me? Am I superior? Am I special?

So solving this puzzle has been the biggest mountain to climb for me.

It is not that I am smarter. it is not that.

I got the clue from Atlas Shrugged… I knew I had a reason to read it again (third time) I just didn’t know what it was.

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Birthing the Self from the Emptiness Within

Giving birth is one of the most ordinary and un-ordinary things.

It’s ordinary because it is so common. It is un-ordinary for people who, for some reason, can’t conceive, or can’t keep the embryo alive.

What is a lot less ordinary, is giving birth to a Self.

Looking at the list of famous people, most of them never birthing a self, one can see that giving birth to a Self is one of the least ordinary things to happen on Planet Earth.
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The mouse that KNOWS what I am going to do…

I live on the edge of a forest in the middle of a city. There is wildlife, deer, skunk, raccoon, millions of squirrels, lots of birds, including birds of prey.

So, of course, we have field mice. No, let me correct that: I have field mice.

So I have a stash of 12 mice cubes, they have proven themselves over and over again in the 16 years that I have lived here.

And I have peanut butter for bait…
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Fulfillment… in your career, in your family, in your health, in happiness

Finding a fulfilling career can sometimes feel impossible. … according to Bridgewater Associates founder Ray Dalio. If you are one of the people who is complaining that you don’t know how to get that… here is the first step is clearly setting your goals.
“Your choice of goals will determine your direction,”
“There is always a best possible path. Your job is to find it and have the courage to follow it,”

He doesn’t say it, because he doesn’t know… but the number of people who simply want a happy fulfilling life without investing none of their time, none of their efforts in it is staggering.

If your desire number is higher than your ambition number, you are, for the time being, sh*t out of luck.
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What do you see with?

Brain Plasticity…

The brain that changes itself is a book I read in 2011… And today I watched the documentary… and let you also see it.

Why have I been thinking about brain plasticity/neuroplasticity?

Because I have been intrigued by the fact that in this recent illness I could clearly see the things that were happening inside my gut, and what was the next step to bring myself back to health.

Had I gone to a doctor, I would be dead.

Why? Because doctors, unless they cut you open, can’t see… they can only see what they understand, and they can only see with their eyes… most of them, at least. Internists, definitely.
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The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation… But why?

You cannot help/change something that you don’t know what causes it…

Thoreau thinks misplaced value is the cause: We feel a void in our lives, and we attempt to fill it with things like money, possessions, and accolades.

I think that the truth is deeper than that.

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so
the necessary may speak.” – Hans Hoffman
Things are never how the mass of men want them to be. Not the way they want to feel, not what they want to do and not what they want to have.
Money is never enough. Or time… Or fun is never fun enough. Not enough love. Not enough respect. Not enough of anything.

On yesterday’s grocery shopping trip (I don’t have a car. So I go shopping with the community center’s van for old people.) I watched the other people… two days before the next “pay” comes in, they barely had enough money to buy an item or two. One spent those few bucks on wine… One couldn’t even come to shop… not until he gets his check.

I talked to an 80 year old and a 95 year old woman. By that age, it seems, you appreciate if you are feeling halfway decent. I am only 71… I’ll be next Tuesday… if you want to wish me happy birthday.

But most people aren’t that old, and they, you, are dissatisfied.
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I don’t want to be judged! you cry. But YOU judge everything and everyone…

Why would you think that someone will judge you? Simple… you have already judged yourself.

But why would you? Not everyone judge themselves. I, for example, don’t… or not often at all. I often assess myself, my behavior, my looks, my stuff… but assessment does not carry condemnation in it, and it doesn’t carry praise in it either.

What is the difference between judgment and assessment ?

The main difference is fixed mindset.
In judgment, the judging person lives as if there were a fixed good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong. And then they act as if they were assigned the job of judging…
So a high fixed mindset plus arrogance, superiority, plus high desire/low ambition numbers.

I have found that people with this combination are unable, unwilling, or resistant to do the work of the Playground.
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